Ostrich Parasitic Syndrome

This diagnosis was formulated by Dr. Gad Saad.

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This disorder causes a person to reject realities that are otherwise as clear as the existence of gravity. Sufferers of OPS do not believe their lying eyes. They construct an alternative reality known as Unicornia. In such a world, science, reason, rules of causality, evidentiary thresholds, a near infinite amount of data, data-analytic procedures, inferential statistics, the epistemological rules inherent to the scientific method, rules of logic, historical patterns, daily patterns, and common sense are all rejected. Instead, the delusional ramblings of an OPS sufferer are rooted in illusory correlations, non-existent causal links, and feel-good, progressive platitudes. Ostrich logic is always delivered via an air of haughty moral superiority. Two tell-tale signs of comorbidity include a nasty form of the Dunning–Kruger effect, namely an arrogant and self-assured [ignorance] about one’s idiocy, and an introspective blindness, namely an inability to ever know that you are afflicted with OPS. These comorbid factors, when coupled with OPS, render meaningful dialog impossible.

Soldiers of Reason! Let us work with the same alacrity as earlier generations of virus hunters, such as, say, Dr. Jonas Salk’s efforts against polio, and eradicate this dreadful disorder!

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